Monday, 6 April 2009

Brighton - the home of winged muggers

We went down to the Sea Life Centre in Brighton yesterday. R I P O F F. Never again. I mean, it's lovely and everything and the kids enjoyed it - for about an hour and a half and then they got fed up and I had to work really hard to stretch the enjoyment to 2 hours. The killing thing is that even with 2 for 1 entry it cost me £28.50. That's a lot of money for 2 hours of looking at fish.

Anyway, after that we went for a walk on the pier. I said to the kids that they could only have one ride each because I'd spent so much on the Sea Life Centre. That was fine, a good time was had by all.

Then we went in search of food that isn't cooked in grease that I could afford and settled on hotdogs (be still my good-nutrition-conscious beating heart). I bought them each a hotdog and small portion of chips to share. I was just finished paying, juggling purse, heavy bag, camera and chips when I hear this SCREAM. The nasty seagulls had stolen Hayley's hotdog out of her hand and a whole flock of them then descended next to her to fight over it. To say she was terrified is an understatement. She was shaking and screaming and couldn't move at all. I rescued her, went and bought her a new hotdog when I hear this vicious shout of "You nasty, horrible seagulls. You dirty rascals!" (I'm still laughing about that - who says dirty rascals nowadays?!) They've only gone and done exactly the same thing to Tyran. So I go back and buy another hotdog. While I'm paying Hayley gets ambushed again. They charged me less for Tyran's and nothing for Hayley's by that stage.

Hayley ended up eating nothing, she was that traumatised. And the moronic mother she's been blessed with only made things worse by trying to make her laugh by describing how her grandpa had a chip stolen out of his mouth by a seagull once. Apparently she hates Brighton and is never going back there again. We'll see!

The saddest bit of the story is that juggling all that stuff meant that my camera was switched off. Yes, I really am an evil mother.

The other thing I need to say is shame on all those people who think it's funny to feed the seagulls with chips and hotdogs. Shame on the people who throw food in the air as entertainment. Shame on all the people who, unwittingly, but still stupdily, have encouraged the gulls to attack small children and steal their food. I know gulls are scavengers, but shame on you who've encouraged them to be thieves and muggers too.

After all of this we walked down to the beach, me carrying a still shaking and crying Hayley. She was adamant she wasn't going to have any fun because she wanted to go home NOW, but the lure of the sea proved too strong and eventually she stripped off tights and shoes and joined her brother to paddle in the freezing sea. Both were so exhausted after all that, that I had a very peaceful drive home. Well peaceful aside from the snores!

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